THEY Want Us To Separate

silhouette man and woman fighting, demon face between themThere’s something unbalancing in the very air now. A force is pushing to break the people of the “united” states apart. We’re labeling the situation as liberals vs. conservatives, red states vs. blue, Democrats vs. Republicans, caring people vs. non-caring people. But it’s something more than that.

Just as there are forces of good in the Universe, our Creator being the source of Goodness, there are forces that broke away from the light (do we, can we, know why?). They have created their own ‘worlds’ in the spiritual world and operate from there. We can’t see them, per se, but we can see them acting through human beings gone mad, those who have killed masses of people with guns or vehicles in just a few moments. We can see these beings working in broken people, in drug abusers, in serial killers, in the worst of the narcissists, who include most, if not all, of those top one percenters who control the world with their wealth.

The one percenters think of us as their puppets, maybe even slaves and while they want to keep some percentage of us around to do their bidding, they also seem intent upon destroying the planet and most of the life upon it. For a long time, this didn’t make sense to me. Then I read some of Rudolf Steiner’s material. Ah, ha!

Not only are we humans evolving, our planet is evolving, too. And, if I understand him correctly, it’s all part of God’s master plan to bring all of us fallen souls back to spiritual wholeness and light. According to Steiner, this plan pivots on the sacrifice of Christ Jesus (man and God uniting, God becoming man) and literally re-enlivening our dying souls through the acts of his own brutal death, descent into hell, his resurrection and his uniting with the planet Earth upon his ascension. He is right here with us, Steiner says, holding the light in the Earth, healing our broken places with his love if we will let him.

But we also have to act. It is our responsibility to look beyond the Us vs. Them template being pressed upon us right now. We need to observe the situation as if we’re standing on the peak of a very high mountaintop that flies from region to region, country to country. We’re so high up, we can only see the tiny bodies of human beings going about their business in the cities and towns below. We notice similar behaviors and rhythms everywhere we go. People living their lives look pretty much the same across the world because we humans are the same. We are all born with hopes and dreams, grow up taking our knocks, live our lives as best as we can with what we’re given, and hopefully later than sooner, cross back to the other side.

But there are those opposing forces. They’re dark, deadly serious, cold-hearted and cruel. They fell away from the light, we humans fell, too (at least those of us on Earth), and they want to keep it that way. They want our souls, our life forces, our slave labor. They want to hurt our dear Mother Earth. And now we see their handiwork clear as day: break America into at least two pieces, cause another civil war which, if they’re lucky, might just spread into a nuclear war, and, “Voila! They’ve won!” Destroyed God’s creation, along with His redemptive plan of love and healing.

You or I may think we’re better than that guy or lady over there, but it’s not true. In fact, thinking those thoughts automatically makes them better than us. While each of us can raise ourselves up in our own minds here and wreak destruction if we want to, we will not be raised up on the other side. We will have an awful lot of work to do. And destruction is not why we were made. We were made to love and to serve, to care and to heal. We were made for connection, with our Creator, the angels, and each other.

I think we humans need to get together and talk about one another’s lives. And the Human Library Organization is doing just that around the world, with thirty Human Libraries now in the U.S. Read about them at Human Libraries.

The one percenters can’t push us to destroy each other if we realize we’re being manipulated. We don’t have to separate. We don’t have to hate each other. It is possible to take a look from the mountaintop and wake up.

Drawing Native Wisdom Cards and Review of the Book “MEDICINE CARDS”

I’ve written about love and compassion here quite a bit, so it’s to be expected that I would have to face my own fears and shadow self, and see my own doubts and then, to be honest with myself and you, share them along the way. Though my childhood in this life would not be called easy, I sense that I brought some darkness with me, a darkness that has shown itself as nagging doubts about my self-worth, my spiritual commitment and whether or not I am truly loved by God. In the past, the feeling has come as an overwhelming wave of self-hate. I’m writing about this because this blog is a part of my journey.

The blue box of Medicine Cards

Years ago I made a necklace that came into being looking like a simple Native Indian work. It prompted me to pull a box off my bookshelf book called Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson, which includes a wisdom-book and a smaller box of Medicine Cards, painted by Angela Werneke, of a variety of animals. Drawing the cards from the deck with a spiritual purpose, I am tapping into Native Indian philosophy and wisdom.

The authors of Medicine Cards explain,

“Our intention, as shamans and healers, is to begin a process for many people who have never understood their connection to Mother Earth and her creatures … [and] of what it means to walk in balance on the Earth Mother. Our dream animals have asked for our assistance in spreading the understanding that all life is sacred.

When calling on the power of an animal, you are asking to be drawn into complete harmony with the strength of that creature’s essence. Gaining understanding from these brothers and sisters of the animal kingdom is a healing process and must be approached with humility and intuitiveness.”

I had used this book before and looked through a bunch of files and I found my notes, dated April 24, 2001. That day, I found my nine Totem Animals (guides that remain the same for a lifetime); used the Pathway Spread to learn about life-lessons patterns; and the Moon Lodge Spread, to learn the state of my personal unconscious, to uncover the lies and self-deceptions I had been using to thwart my spiritual growth. I guess that explains why I didn’t pick up the book again until ten years later. Chicken wasn’t one of the totem animals, but, cluck-cluck, it applies here.

I looked inside the book and found another spread called the Medicine Wheel. ‘Medicine’ in the Native Indian way is defined in the book as:

“Anything that improves one’s connection to the Great Mystery and to all of life…Medicine is also anything that brings personal power, strength, and understanding. It is the constant living of life in a way that brings healing to the Earth Mother and all associates, family, friends, and fellow creatures…it is an all-encompassing ‘way of life,’ for it involves walking on the Earth Mother in perfect harmony with the Universe.”

Wow–walking on the Earth Mother in perfect harmony with the universe. How many of us walk in this manner, giving thanks to the Great Spirit for everything in our lives and to the animals and plants who give their lives to become our food? It is a worthwhile goal, one I hope is not impossible.

The Medicine Wheel spread is used to reflect on the personality and to see how we learn from ourselves, other people and animals. Sounded good to me. After shuffling, I drew five cards and placed them on a table in the four directions, East, South, West and North and one in the center, which is the Sacred Mountain Card. Each direction has its own meaning.

There are two messages for each card, one if the card is right-side up when you pull it out and one if the card is upside-down, which the authors refer to as ‘Contrary.’ My shadow-self doesn’t want to share the cards I drew, but my Higher Self does:

**The first card, East, represents where our spiritual strengths lie and the challenges to seeing clearly in the present situation.

EAST: Moose. Is about not needing approval, and experiencing the joy of a job well done, about the joy in giving encouragement but also in warning. Moose is about a new sense of self and accomplishment. Contrary Message: Ego can ruin a sense of accomplishment. It is about tooting my own horn and failing to be interested in others. It is a need to recognize that everyone is a teacher for everyone else, and there is a need to grow quiet for a while to let wisdom enter my heart.

**Second is South, with the animal guide helping our inner children learn what we need to nurture and to trust ourselves.

SOUTH: Blue Heron. Blue Heron indicates an unawareness of who I am and where I belong. Follow intuition and begin the journey of self-realization. Low self-worth and self-pity means I will never truly understand my true potential. A lack of courage in facing the critical enemy within. See my motives, actions, feelings, dreams, goals, strengths and weakness. Contrary Message: Too much self-reflection can lead to self-obsession. If criticizing self, watch out! It is imprudent to drown the sense of joy that accompanies the journey of self-discovery. Perfection leaves no room for being human. Our most valuable lessons are learned from our mistakes. Balance the desire to change with gentle discernment. Dive deep into feelings and emerge renewed, not judgmental, rigid, and flat, which breaks the spirit. Do not expect to find the many layers of truth and wholeness in one dive. Don’t hold my breath for enlightenment or let the collective feelings of humanity drown me.

**Third is West, showing the internal solution to present life challenges and what we need to reach our goals.

WEST: Dog. Serving others or humanity in some way. The guardian embodies the loving gentleness of the best friend with the protective energy regarding territory. Delve deeply into my sense of service to others. Have I forgotten that I owe allegiance to my personal truth? Have the opinions of others jaded my loyalty to a friend? Have I ignored someone who is trying to be my friend? Have I been loyal and true to my goals?

**Fourth is North, which integrates the other cards and is the key to walking in wisdom by connecting to our highest purpose and intentions.

NORTH: Antelope. Knowledgeable action. Symbolizes the antenna of the hair, which attaches us to the Great Mystery. Action is the key and the essence of living. Antelope medicine gives strength of mind and heart. Call on antelope when balled up. Antelope sends ingenious solutions. Antelope indicates a higher purpose and forces action for self, family, clan, nation and Mother Earth. It is time—do it now.

**Fifth is the card in the center of the spread; it shows how to see the present as a crossroads of spiritual and physical realities and how they have melded, to show whether or not we are in balance and what to do about it.

CENTER: Deer. Deer is the gentle spirit, filled with love and compassion for all. With love, deer moves the bullies away from the door to the Great Spirit. Creates safety. Contrary Message: Means I’m courting my fears by fighting the internal demons of negative ideas. Need to love myself enough to deeply feel my fears and let them go. The balance to power is the love and compassion of Deer, who teaches unconditional love, accessed from the heart space of the Great Spirit who loves us all.

I really love these cards. With them, for whatever the reasons, I can count on honest guidance from the Divine, even if it’s hard to face. This is a priceless gift and I give my gratitude to Jamie Sams and David Carson, their mentors and all of dear Mother Nature’s Creature-Teachers. Thank you, Friends.

Medicine Cards is a book of sincere and profound wisdom, for all who want to see the truth of our personalities and our spiritual natures; and to make more meaningful relationships with nature.

Rudolf Steiner on the Roots of Intolerance

At times like this, when nine people are slaughtered because of the color of their skin while praying in their church, words are hollow. But I remember fifty years ago when it seemed, from the outside at least, that light was being shed on the forces behind racism, and new understanding and acceptance were taking root. I thought it was the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

I was wrong. For the sake of all the families who have lost loved ones to fanaticism, isn’t it time we identify the root cause of intolerance?’ This dangerous emotion lives in feelings of superiority, pride, fear and hate. Why has racism become so dangerously common? Is it the acceptance and fanning of extremist ideas? Is it mental illness? Why and how have the many facets of human existence—religion, politics, economics, education, health, culture—all become so polarized? Aren’t we responsible for this? Why is it now the norm NOT to cooperate for the higher good?

Ahriman world trade centerThere is a fascination today, and I am not digressing here, with the paranormal: ghosts, vampires, demons, etc., in novels, TV shows and movies. On some level, we humans understand there is more to these stories than meets the eye. Rudolf Steiner (1861-1925), was an Austrian mystic, philosopher, social reformer, architect, and esotericist who saw into spiritual worlds. He consistently spoke of the battle between light and dark forces and the effects of spiritual beings on the physical world. If we don’t reverse the trend of the ever-expanding problem of violent intolerance, Steiner says life could end in a War of All Against All.


Rudolf Steiner (1861-1925)

Steiner, the founder of Anthroposophy (a path of insight which leads the spiritual in the human being to the spiritual in the cosmos), was a deeply devout man and while it may not be fair to him or to the reader to pull out a few paragraphs of his spiritual lingo from the book NATURE SPIRITS, his ideas are pertinent to the heart-wrenching issue of the growing and violent partisanship of our times:

“Matters which have a harmful result on the etheric body are bad laws, or bad social measures prevailing in a community. All that leads to want of harmony, all that makes for bad adjustments between people [causes] the accumulation in the etheric body . . . [of] detachments from beings working in the spiritual worlds [which are] now found in our environment—they are ‘spectres’ or ‘ghosts.’ We see [them] grow out of the life of human beings . . . For one who is able to see things spiritually, [the] physical body is crammed with phantoms, [the] etheric body crammed with specters. As a rule after a person’s death, all this rises up and disperses and populates the world.” Continue reading

Ego-Propelled into the Day

pride 2I cannot share some of the ego-in-control discoveries on my spiritual path because they are deeply personal and very difficult to reveal. Layer after layer exposed with me asking, “Is this truly a part of me? Is this who I am?” My ego, the false me, takes pride in everything. ‘I’m a spiritual person;’ ‘I’m a good mother;’ ‘I’m a writer, getting better every day,’ and on and on and on.

These thoughts are not always front and center; I get a flicker of a feeling here or there and I dig—and there they are, thumbing their noses at me, not a bit unhappy about being exposed, because my ego believes it will always be with me, even driving me at times. At times? Only God sees how much our egos propel us into each day, their feathers fluffed, ever ready to publicly humiliate us if need be. The private humiliation is worse when doors to past lives open and past behaviors are seen.

We can’t really battle our egos or past behaviors; they will always come out on top. The spiritual process truly is about what the great spiritual masters teach: “Observe and let go. Observe and let it pass. Give it no energy. Smile. Get quiet to be  at one with the Light. Persevere; operating from ego is an unnatural state. You are a child of a Great Being of Love.”

Okay, great masters. I’m trusting you on this. Thank you.

Our Need for the Divine Feminine and the Great Dark Cloud, A Guest Post from Michael Brine

By Michael Brine

We have created an unbalanced world because we allow rule by dominant male energy, which so often ignores the nurturing and compassionate energy of feminine energy and the Divine Feminine.We have also given our power to some of the most divisive religions imaginable. By all means, enjoy your own religious/spiritual beliefs but when we attempt to impose these beliefs on others–often creating war in doing so–we cross a line we should not cross. Each soul born on earth is born to choose his or her own walk. We only have to look at the Middle East to see this sad situation at its worst. However, it also exists within our own societies and grows less subtle each day.

Regarding the issue of living in a harmonious word, we also need ask ourselves if it is necessary to kill other life forms to satisfy our appetites. As I leave these ideas with you, I include below an important message from The Aquarian Passion Play.

Thank you ,
Michael Brine

The Planetary Deadline  from The Aquarian Passion Play

“If we could look down from outer space upon the Earth with clairvoyant vision we would see the auric field of the planet as a murky ball of seething mist and fog. We might stand aghast at beholding this great dark cloud of subtle matter, which would evidence itself to be of a density and thickness that indicated not only impenetrability but also those conditions that are unfavourable to life and which make all things appear unclear and distorted.

Thus it would be appreciated that there is a pressing need for change and global decontamination, for preparation for all those upon Earth who would be ready to weather well the approaching purificatory storm and, moreover, who would take advantage of it. The effects of the cumulative and harmful thought-patterns and attitudes of humanity are pervasive worldwide, and are sorely evident today not only in the lives of mankind, but also upon the physical planet.

Man has generally treated the Earth with gross disrespect for far too long. He has regarded his home together with its mineral, vegetable and animal kingdoms most carelessly, and has repeatedly demonstrated an attitude of negligence that expresses the erroneous view that the resources of the planet are for his own selfish use and exploitation alone. Humanity, as a whole, has completely overlooked the fact that Mother Earth – Gaia – is a spiritual being, engaged in her own evolutionary development, and lovingly endeavours to provide a perfectly balanced environment for the peaceful and harmonious existence of multifarious life-forms, including human beings.”

Lying to Myself

Not So Sweet

Not So Sweet

In a dream this morning, I was at a friend’s house, who was worried. She had cancer, and had learned that her house that was once worth $430,000 was now only worth $30,000. I was there, trying to help her figure out, or understand, how the house, too, had lost so much value. A guru came by. He sat and talked, walked around the house, pointed out the two sparkling pools, and waited to see if we, or even just one of us, would go with him. Neither of us had before I woke up.

In the dream, I was both the sick friend (I have a chronic illness) who lost all her net worth (I have), and the person trying to understand. How could this possibly happen—such extreme loss? The dream reflects my inability to be a wholehearted spiritual seeker because I am so involved in the physical/material world—not what I have, but what I have lost. (We can be attached either way.) Jesus Christ said it is easier for a man to fit through the eye of a needle than to give up his worldly goods. And, it is. It’s hard to have your physical and mental capabilities, and material-world net worth, stripped away while you’re strutting around. I guess me having them stripped away was the only way I would eventually acknowledge the truth. Continue reading

Have Faith, A Guest Post by M.N. Hopkins

A Poem by M.N. Hopkins

An Angel fell

An Angel fell into a dark abyss

A Human stood at the edge of Darkness and Light

with clear, seeing eyes and said, “Have faith.”

The Angel fell deeper and deeper into the darkness

Again, the Human said,

“Have faith.”

The Angel continued to fall deeper and deeper

closer to the imaginary point of no return

Once again said the Human,

“Have faith.”

The Angel paused and looked up toward the Human and said,

“So, it will be.”

The Angel began his flight upward and

outward of this temporary darkness

back to His rightful Home within the Realm of Light.

M.N. Hopkins

Note: I hope that you get it or at best, enjoy the feeling it can invoke.

Really Old Bacteria and Our Short Lives

TemptressLast night I watched a show on PBS called Australia’s First Four Billion Years. I wasn’t going to watch it, but the introduction said that evidence of the beginnings of life on Earth still existed in Australia and I was curious. They reported that the earth was made from a fiery explosion, chunks of stars that came together through magnetic attraction. Back then, stuff from space collided regularly with the earth and it was an unsafe place for life.

The first life was bacteria born in shallow areas of the ocean; those very same microbes can be found in mushroom-shaped mounds in Australia today. After two long Ice Ages that froze the entire Earth for millions of years, something else was in the ocean: plant life and flat creatures vacuuming along the ocean floors in search of food. More creatures followed—I didn’t understand whether the trilobites evolved—and competition for food was born. Fossilized evidence of early sea creatures can still be found in very old rocks in Australia.

I sat here wondering: Some life forms have survived for billions of years and we humans get about 80 on average, after (maybe) 100,000 years? I always want to make sense of everything and this doesn’t make sense. The Bible refers to some people who lived for a thousand years and that’s amazing now, but we have to ask, ‘Why did we devolve to living less than a hundred years?’ Is it all the warring? We couldn’t stop pillaging and killing, so our DNA rewrote itself for shorter lifetimes? Does that make sense? Continue reading

Where are the Fallen Angels?

dark angelThis is an interesting paragraph from the book, Edgar Cayce on Angels, Archangels and the Unseen Forces by Robert J. Grant:

“There is a tendency to believe in the fallen angels or demons only when one hears of hauntings or in cases of exorcism. These manifestations are indeed rare and do not account for a large percentage of evil influences in the earth. Evil manifests in a variety of ways, just as virtue appears in countless forms. The important point is that evil or disharmony is a choice; the fallen are only in that state of existence when the choice is made to twist creative abilities into destructive ones. Where there is manipulation, oppression, war, famine, governmental control of religious belief, there exist the fallen ones.”

Grant goes on to say that God put into place a system in which the fallen will bring onto themselves the ultimate destruction. I have come to agree that God/Love will not force anyone into Heaven. There is no Light available to a soul who consciously uses God-given energy to create destruction, deciding, in essence, to compete with the God of Light.

Horror in Connecticut

young studentsI’m sure I’m not the only person who can’t watch the news about the slaughter of so many little ones in Connecticut. We see news reporters and anchors in the midst of tragedy after tragedy trying to explain what has happened here and there, but there are no words for this type of unimaginable slaughter and the resulting mind-shock and pain in our chests.

I have not written about what happened but I was prompted to do so this morning. Why? I don’t know. I’m not interested in the young man’s motive for killing all those people, especially the little ones who were only excited to be a big kid now, to get to go to school. How could anyone do this? There is no explanation.

Did some of the adults manage to get off a prayer to God like, ‘Take me to heaven, Lord,’ before they were killed? I wonder if the children even understood what was happening. Were they learning colors or shapes or letters? Were they coloring or using those first scissors with the rounded tips? Did they have time to scream?

But many men throughout history have taken many children’s lives, haven’t they? And many parents have had to just take it, knowing they were or are powerless to change the sickness that drives these murderers. I don’t know if the kid shot the people at that school with automatic weapons, but they do seem to be the weapon of choice in our times. I WANT TO KNOW WHY MULTIPLE WEAPONS AND AUTOMATIC WEAPONS ARE STILL FOR SALE IN AMERICA. And I don’t want to hear one word about ‘the right to bear arms’ from one Conservative representative. You think your homes and schools are safe for your children and maybe they are—aren’t you blessed? But most American’s homes and schools are NOT safe from madmen with multiple or automatic weapons. Do you care, even a flicker? And please don’t stand on the steps of any government building, in front of cameras of course, belittling the situation with ‘pious’ words.

I ALSO WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE CAN’T GET AFFORDABLE OR ENOUGH MENTAL HEALTH CARE IN AMERICA. We can all see that some people need HELP, but that help could affect the bottom line, couldn’t it? Why, it could reduce profits by half a percent! Maybe more! God forbid anyone’s net worth should be impinged on.

And, yes Lord, I know I am angry. I add my prayers to the millions of prayers coming your way. Please wrap those little ones in your loving arms and be with their parents and the people of that Connecticut town who must endure the untold pain of this type of loss.

About the “Astrology of Fate” by Liz Greene

Persephone returns from the underworld, Pluto’s domain

I recently bought a copy of the 1984 book, THE ASTROLOGY OF FATE by Liz Greene, at a used bookstore, which was fortunate because it’s $29.95 new and is so packed with mythology and intensity, I believe it was written for astrologers. But I couldn’t resist—what an intriguing title!

I’m only on page 64 of 370+ pages and I find I cannot resist reading it, yet I dread picking it up. It is not a book for the faint of heart. It is, so far, about the planet/god Pluto and his affects on our human natures, from Liz Greene’s learned, experienced, astrological point of view. She tells stories of Hades and other gods and of the unforgiving, grinding nature of Pluto, who strikes at the core of who we believe we are, and what we most desire, so that we will ultimately acknowledge we humans are made of both the light and the darkness.

I’ve chosen some quotes to illustrate:

“The river of hatred and poison that encircles the underworld is like Old Man Willow [in Lord of the Rings] at the heart of the forest, and it is not always conscious in the individual. More often we do not know of its existence, and think of ourselves as decent people who can forgive another his transgressions; but we suffer instead from mysterious ailments and emotional disturbances, and subtly sabotage our partners, parents, friends, children and ourselves without fully recognizing that somewhere we may feel them as ‘destroyers and usurpers’ who must be made to pay.”


Here’s more: “The irrevocable turn of fate, whether toward gain or loss, is characteristic of Pluto. So too is the experience of frustrated desire. That which we want more than we have ever wanted anything before, but which is the one thing we cannot have, or can only have through great sacrifice or the death of some cherished part of ourselves: all this is typical of Pluto. Naturally the sexual arena is one of the most obvious places where this kind of experience occurs. So is the arena of power and position. Power and sexuality, power or loss of power through sexuality, are themes which are intrinsic to Pluto…Confronted with Pluto, we meet our abhorrent compulsions, our unsatisfiable passions: the impossible repetitive pattern of struggling with something, only to meet it again and again…Pluto is therefore a great and divine balancer of hubris. Without him man would believe himself to be God, and would in the end destroy himself: a situation that grows increasingly likely with the passage of time. Faced with Pluto…one experiences the unpassable circle of the limitations of the soul, the limitations of fate. These are not the worldly limits of Saturn, but the deepest savouring of one’s vulnerability and mortality.”

At 60, I am grateful that I’ve passed, to a good degree, through my Pluto-the-destroyer period of life, but I wondered, ‘If I’d read this book and learned of the depth of devastation that must be experienced by each of us who deny that darkness lives within us—would I have seen my own undoing coming?’

Greene explains, “Pluto, it would seem, governs that which cannot or will not change. This is a particularly painful issue in an age of self-help therapies and a growing belief that one can make oneself into anything, given the right techniques, books or spiritual leaders. Humility before the gods is an antique virtue, promoted not only by the Bible but by the Greeks as well. ‘Nothing in excess’—not even self-perfection—was carved before the door to Apollo’s temple at Delphi, along with ‘Know thyself.’ These were the chief requirements the gods asked of men. But it is just this issue that Pluto forces us to confront. It is ironic, and paradoxical, that the genuine acceptance of the unchangeable is often one of the keys for true and deep change within the psyche. But this little piece of irony…does not appear to be learnable in any school but life’s fires. Therefore it remains a secret, not because nobody will tell it, but because nobody will believe it, unless he has survived the fire.”

In 1997 I was re-granted life, to survive a ‘death by fire,’ an exposure and burning of the lies I told myself, and suffered a tearing and rawness in my body that still hurts today. I’ve written here before of the anguish I felt after each of my children was born—how will we protect them, shield them from the darkness that is life at times? Each time I went deep into myself and realized I had no control over what could happen to my children—that the truth was, I had no control over anything. Each time, I gave my children to God because as much as the spark of God lives in me, I have not the power to keep them from their personal, or others,’ Pluto-the-destroyer experiences.

A spiritual teacher once explained to me that our karma, which I’m now certain means the effects Pluto will have on our pretending-selves, is alleviated by giving ourselves over to God, as in becoming a priest or nun or another kind of jumping in. mind, body and heart focused on service. Not that we won’t uncover the lies we tell ourselves in that service, just that it will be easier to live through the process. I hope I’ve got this right, but I believe Liz Greene writes that for some, the Pluto-affect is not as traumatic as it is for others, but that we must all face the truth to some degree.

There is a healing movement at work in our world today—an invitation to become Godlike, to know that we are God. This is a very good thing, because it has awakened an awareness within that as we practice tolerance and loving-kindness, we change our own lives and others’ lives, adding healing to the collective that is us. In Lord of the Rings, all are tempted by the Ring of Power (except Frodo, the hobbit) that belongs to the Dark Lord–even Galadriel, the beautiful and mighty queen of the elves and forest. She rises above her test but had she not, Pluto-the-destroyer would have reigned terror on the elves, through her. I was unable to beat my tests, so my tests beat me!

What within me still awaits the touch of Pluto’s hand? What within you must go if you are to grow into a higher spiritual being? Is an awareness of your cravings and imbalances knocking at your door? Though Pluto scrubs and scrapes away our lies to ourselves and others, with a sharp, serrated instrument, it seems there is no other way to get our attention.

Overcome by Crazy Woman, a Guest Post by Kim P of Afternoon Storm

Note: When I read this post by Kim P at her blog, Afternoon Storm, I thought of my two most-explosive blow ups (one of which my children refer to as ‘The Syrup Incident.’ Yes, it was messy.) When I got to the sentences (I’ve italicized below), I had an aha! moment. Thank you, Kim, for sharing this much needed wisdom and your wonderful painting of the Crazy Woman.

By Kim P.

People who know my family history often tell me and my sisters that it is quite incredible that the three of us have grown up to be such loving mothers. Our mother was happiest when she was travelling and decorating our house. She was depressed, crazy angry, or stoned on Valium much of our lives. She was in and out of the hospital with operations; a few of which brought her close to death. She saved herself by leaving us; for weeks at a time at first; but permanently in the end. She moved far away and had little contact with us when my younger sister was still a teen and my older sister and I were in our early twenties.I look back at my Mom now with a great deal of empathy. She was an Artist stuck in the role of mother in the suburbs in a generation that accorded women little respect and few options. She was also a victim of the medical system of the day. Diagnosed with ulcers, she was given Valium to “calm her nerves” and was subjected to several severe operations. Today, of course, they know that ulcers are caused by a bacteria so my mother would have been spared “the knife” and the numbing effects of a drug that left her stoned on the couch in the middle of the day.

But I am my Mother’s Daughter. While I am a loving mother, there is a Crazy Woman in me who emerges from time to time. When I am feeling like I cannot get control over my life, she emerges with a fury that is frightening to behold. She rages at everything and everyone around her. She rages against the limitations of motherhood; the ineptitude of men; the drudgery of housework; and the monotony of work. The Crazy Woman wants to break the bonds that bind me; she wants to destroy the limits that circumscribe my life.

The Crazy Woman is the dark side of the Artist; that side of me that longs for time to write; that needs freedom to express her Self; that needs access to beauty for inspiration; that needs space for meditation. But she serves a purpose. When she emerges, I know that I have gone too far; to accommodate the needs of others; to fulfill my responsibilities; to meet the expectations of others. When Crazy Woman rages, I know that I have abandoned my Self; that I am out of balance. I know that I have failed to make my needs known; to protect my time; to care for my spirit.

The Crazy Woman saved my mother’s life. She stole our mother from us; robbed my dad of a wife; but she helped my mother to save her Self; to create a life that fed the Artist within. The Crazy Woman is an agent of destruction; the death bringer; that inner force that helps us to bring death to patterns that no longer serve us. The Crazy Woman may be frightening and uncontrollable, but she just may save my life!

Something Eating at You?

It’s very easy for us humans to use anger like a weapon. I guess it is a weapon, if you think about it. Anger makes us feel powerful for a period and we tell ourselves we’re justified—“She shouldn’t have pissed me off”—but in the world of ‘walking in another’s shoes,’ there is never any good reason for letting loose on someone else. Anger is a flashing neon sign that says: “You’re thinking only of yourself.”

There were times with my children that I had to raise my voice to get their attention—but twice I completely ‘lost it’ and scared them. Does that mean there’s ‘good’ anger and ‘bad’ anger? Maybe so, but if there is, the world could use a lot less of the bad anger.

Bad anger is the dangerous one—the one that can flare over little things, leaving even us wondering what happened. It makes us feel guilty, too, and we think we have to make up for it somehow, but if it’s happened too much, it may be too late.

Anger is a chain we add a link to every time we feel the heat rising in our bodies and decide to aim it at someone. The last link may have been over something small, but it was added to hundreds of links and the heat travels the metal chain, gathering memories and momentum until: “Bam!” we’re at it again.

The only person who can save us from anger is ourselves. It’s no way to live—the out-of-control emotions ruin lives and that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to live and love, to care and grow and make a positive difference in the world. Sometimes when things are eating us up inside we have to seek answers. Ask sincerely for help and you shall receive it. It’s a universal law.

My ‘Intolerance’ Eye-Bubbles Returned

I’ve been having lessons about judging others lately and it’s pretty uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel I’m going the reverse of where I want to. I believe we should grow wiser as we age but instead, sometimes I seem to be growing crankier and suspicious.

On the other side of my apartment’s walls lives a Muslim family from the Middle East and sometimes they’re noisier than I’d like, but that’s not a significant problem. The older man, husband and father, rules with absolute authority (I hear his raised voice through the wall). If he and I cross paths when I’m walking my dog, he snaps his fingers and gestures to dismiss me, to stay away, I guess. I don’t like being told to stay away or behind him, even though that’s what I do with everyone who doesn’t want contact. I don’t like being less than any man and I don’t like that he rules his wife and daughter–as if it’s my business! His daughter and I smile and say hello—she’s a very nice young woman and I’ve spoken with his wife, who seems worn down to me, but maybe that’s only my perspective. (I don’t live with them after all or understand their native language.)

I’ve mentioned here before that when I fall into judging someone, I get an irritating bubble on my eye (the Universe’s sense of humor) which I take as a reminder of, “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?” The moment I realize what I’m doing, the bubble goes away. (Who would I be without eye-bubbles?)

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But, I’m Only Human!

Have you ever wondered what the Garden of Eden was like—what Paradise is for humans? It must’ve been breathtaking in its beauty. Were trees and plants heavy laden with food that was always ripe? The water had to be running clear and strong and probably had healing properties. Did scorpions and mosquitoes and rats live there? Did God’s children live for hundreds of years in this place where there was no fear or danger? Can you imagine the sky—the sunrises and sunsets? We descendants may have polluted our atmosphere beyond recognition compared to the original, yet our sky still looks like a master painted it every day.

I believe there is something in the Edgar Cayce readings about ‘the fall,’ the temptation being to mate physically like animals for the purposes of pleasure. (There may also be readings about humans actually mating with animals, thus the mythological centaurs and the like. Cayce says our Creator reconfigured our DNA so that we couldn’t do that anymore. Can’t you just hear certain angels saying to God on the subject of free will, “We told you so!”) And isn’t there something in the Bible about woman’s punishment Continue reading