This is a story of healing, myself and my home, of the presence of an ill-intentioned spirit. It is a follow up to my home cleansing stories, in which smudging to clear negative energy was insufficient. The healing came at last with an experience of grace, forgiveness, compassion and deep understanding.
On November 20, I wrote about a home cleansing for which I had carefully prepared and then attempted. I was unable to keep the sage smudge-stick burning, even when holding it directly in the flame of a candle (which, according to the laws of nature is impossible–fire beats dried plants every time!) but the cleansing did have some effect. Later that day, I was out and saw an extraordinary raven and realized the spirit of Raven had come to help empower and carry my ‘prayer-smoke’ to the heavens.
On the morning of 12/1/2013, I dreamed of friends from the past prying into my life for gossip-like purposes. Then the dream switched to a cluster of beautiful orange and white barn owls resting in a tree and one of them was trying to communicate with me. One message was, “Life is short; every day is precious; open your heart to love.” Another was, “Do a home cleansing to free up lost spirits.” I had felt somewhat better since the cleansing, but my daughter felt something brush up against her in the kitchen, where I had also sensed an unfriendly presence. Another owl-message was, “Owl is associated with magic, both black and white. Owl will help you intuit the truth.”
A friend suggested I sit quietly, tune into each person from my past associated with ‘hurt’ and psychically sever the cords. I had used this ‘disconnection’ technique before, with some success. The night after the barn-owl dream, I decided to sit quietly and do so. I began by trying to light my Jesus Christ candle (made with aromatherapy oils used in his time and to anoint his body). It snuffed out and I lit it again. I put a ‘Songs of Mary’ CD into my computer and it would not start. I ejected it several times and it finally played. I held a quartz crystal in my hand to connect to our Earth Mother and slowed my breathing. I began to choke and cough and could not stop. When I thought, “That’s fine. I’ll cough all night because I’m going to sit here until I can quiet myself and proceed,” the choking came to an end.
My breathing settled and I asked Universal Christ to be with me and protect me and those I love. I asked to connect with our Earth Mother and our Divine Mother. I asked All My Relations (my friends from nature), the Ascended Masters, especially Paramahansa Yogananda, Archangel Michael and Saint Benedict to be with me. I then asked to see the cords that connect me with the people and painful situations from my past. Their names and faces began to come to me. I was overcome with all the pain, mine and theirs, and tears came, in rivers.
One at a time, I sent each of them my heartfelt apology for hurting them and asked, if it was possible, for their forgiveness. I wholeheartedly gave my forgiveness to them for the hurt I had felt. In my mind’s eye, light was building within and around me and I felt lighter and lighter as the process continued. Then I felt a surge of power come up from the Earth and powerful beams of light come down through my head, where they joined in my heart. In that moment, I asked that any spirits stuck in the apartment or around me be freed to go into the light. I saw arms reach down and draw a spirit up into the light.
I was stunned. Then a sense of joy swept over me for the being who moved into the light and then for myself, realizing the gift that was given to both of us. We were both freed! I gave thanks to every being of Love who had been with me. It was a Love-army and it took a while.
When the experience was over, I noted that almost two hours had passed. I realized that much healing with people from my past, both living and on the other side, had occurred. I have three people I need to continue to work with for forgiveness, one passed on, two living.
It was a truly beautiful experience, one I guess that could only happen when the time was right, or when I truly desired to know how cleansing and healing occur. In November, I had asked for divine aid, and when I could not keep the sage smudge-stick lit, help came from an unexpected source: Raven. That day was a step in the process: I learned about sincerity, inner preparation, commitment to a higher purpose and opening to ceremony. I received both grace and mercy.
But I had not yet understood that when healing a negative connection—the emotional, mental or spiritual pain of both parties—forgiveness is the washing machine. It is likely that we can psychically sever painful connections using will power, but this has only a temporary effect because the pain will be carried into future lifetimes, into new-old relationships, awaiting the process of forgiveness, the healing of memories and the application of grace and mercy.