In a ‘tween’ place

different peopleI’ve been away from blogging, trying different medications (five, so far) to correct the mild seizures in my brain. The seizures don’t cause me to fall to the ground and shake, but they affect everything else. Since no medication has worked so far, or the side effects are too great to bear, I’m on do-not-drive orders through December. Then we will start again. Now I know that when, in a dream, I saw my hopes and dreams flying away on little wings, and a large wooden cross fell on top of me, what the message was. This is my cross to bear. (The strangest part is, I’ve been driving with this for fifteen years. I’ve hit a lot of curbs but, thanks be to God and the angels, no one or anything else.)

I’ve been thinking about us humans, how we make decisions, how we live–such as, will we wear the white hat or the black hat? If we rob homes or grocery stores, rape or murder people and so on, we will likely spend some portion of our lives in prison. What goes around comes around, in the here and now. But fate brings unexpected twists, as far as I can tell to everyone at some point in their lives, and we are forced to adjust our perspectives.

I’m thinking about history and evolution, the drive for power, control and the cruelty used against so many others. We’ve made giant leaps since then; we’re more aware of others, due to technology, but also because we’re evolving on the inside. We’re seeing life in new ways, realizing that we humans need each other, and that we can choose the Higher Road without losing ourselves. It feels good to care and to serve, ever climbing the mountain to find the answers at its peak.

Today, we divide ourselves with lines on maps and by neighborhoods, but can you imagine what we look like from God’s perspective? There are no fences when every cell of every life-form is connected. Christians and Muslims, Jews and Arabs, Protestants and Catholics, critters, plants and humans–we are all one. We’re in a ‘tween’ place, not back in the dark past but not quite into the light of the future. Evolution is taking us, whether we like it or not. We have come to a fork in the road. Will you go the hard way or the easy way?


10 thoughts on “In a ‘tween’ place

  1. Love love love your thinking here!
    You are so exactly right–we are one foot in the old and one in the new. With your clear seeing, can you see why you have been given this illness to bear? Does everything happen for a reason?
    Love and light,

  2. Great to see you post, Pam. I hope you find the right elixir to stabilize and balance your wiring. For what it’s worth, I’m sending a big cyber hug. We are indeed in the space between, but I am reminded of a line in one of my favorite Grateful Dead songs:

    Once in a while you can get shown the light
    in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.

    Thanks for sharing your heart and soul!

  3. Only today I was asking Mike in Sweden about you as you weren’t on an e-mail he sent out to Magi and I and I guess here’s the answer. I’m troubled by this of course and as you know sweet friend I have great concerns with our Medical people here and their reliance on Pharma’s drugs, but it’s difficult for me to advise you from this distance as I’m not an expert – but I believe Mike will have some constructive thoughts.

    As you know I am a Vegetarian and only eat organic foods, and at 77 I am still basically well and healthy. So for you this might be a start. To-day’s meat is especially bad as to-days cattle are literally grown in huge barns and injected with drugs to make them ‘grow’ faster and you then absorb this in to your system. I’m sure there are herbal remedies you could start taking but I am not an expert to advise you with your particular health issue. Mike? M.B.

    • Thanks, Mike. Some mornings when I wake up, I think, “This will be okay,” and some mornings I think, “Are you kidding me?!” Eventually, I’ll submit to Higher Love and will let it be whatever it is. Thanks for the reminder…

  4. Dear Pam: It is lovely to hear from you again…I have missed your voice and your wonderfully compassionate view of the world. It sounds like you have been through the wringer with your health and that you are trying to “surrender” to the limitations that are beyond your controls. My prayers are with you….Lots of Love…Kim

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