Sins and Successes

I awoke thinking of people I had met only once and hadn’t seen for over 25 years: a group of disabled inmates at the Nevada State Prison in Nevada’s capitol, Carson City. Friends and I had begun a small community newspaper and we were there to interview the warden–and these men about their complaints. The inmates were chronically ill or disabled, bent, walking with canes and crutches, or living in wheelchairs. They were deeply scarred, deeply hurt and they had deeply hurt and mistreated others. Though they were as unhappy a group as you could find, the moment I took their picture is frozen in my mind because out of my mouth came, “Okay, guys. Look as miserable as you can,” and they all laughed. In that second, I snapped their picture.

Why did I remember them this morning? I guess it’s because now I am chronically ill and disabled, and all these years later I know there is much more than I thought to being born, growing up,  and making a life.

We humans are generally clumped together by our sins and successes, but we are more than our mistakes and our ambitions. What if, before we were born, we did choose our parents, our lives? And, why would anyone pick a life of disease and law-breaking? Why not choose the parents who live in the huge house on top of the hill? Or parents with a huge, happy, extended family?

Because each of us is exactly where we are meant to be.  And this is where the sticky subject of reincarnation comes up. Actually, lots of people believe in reincarnation. Some people have had vivid dreams of being another person, or have significant talents with no formal training. Others experience a deep longing for another city or country and once there, they feel like they’ve come home. For some, though, the subject of reincarnation is still blasphemy.

What if there is a giant record of everything that’s ever happened on Earth and to each of our souls? What if life is like a library full of a gazillion stories and we get to choose a different book for each life? What if, from the more impersonal place between lives, we look at the sum total of who we have become and say, “Yes, I need to experience this, or that,” then hand the book to our Creator, and say, “This one, please.”

If all this were true, I think we’d be more compassionate people. Especially if we knew it was true–if we remembered being both a queen and a criminal, a teacher and a slave, sick and healthy and rich and poor. It would be a lot harder to judge other people if only we would remember.

Reprinted from 06/09.

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6 thoughts on “Sins and Successes

  1. Beautiful reflection, Pam. The line about “Okay, guys. Look as miserable as you can,” made me laugh out loud, thanks for that. Isn’t that idea about that big storage facility of all human thought and experiences what the Akashic Records are? Whatever we call it, there certainly is a huge reservoir of all there is and all there has ever been, but we can’t fathom it with our brains. But even our brains are these huge editing machines, just think of how little of everything we walk by every day we acknowledge, much less retain. So to think that there’s nothing else to life besides our own acknowledged daily reality is like connecting two dots and thinking you have a philosophy. I think that if nothing else, reincarnation is a huge possibility, simply because the part of us that says otherwise is drinking from a very small fountain.

    • Thanks, Sven. I have a feeling, too, that there is SO MUCH MORE. One time I dreamed I was in a room filled with small drawers (like the old library card system) from ceiling to floor in the entire room. I knew right where my drawer was, went there and opened it; there were hundreds and hundreds of cards. I pulled out a few here and there, then said, “Holy SHIT!” shoved them back in, and slammed the drawer shut. Who I was before, at least in the lives I pulled out, was not loving or heart-centered. At the time I took it personally and dove into a muddy puddle of self-pity. Now I sense we all have played different roles in our multiple lives and none of us should assume we’ve always been one of the good guys because we probably have worn dark hats, too. Glad you stopped by.
      Your mentioning the Akashic Records made me think of a woman who writes about the Akashic Records monthly–what we should expect. Here is the link for anyone who would like to see what the Jen Eramith MA says about February: http://spiritlibrary.com/akashic-transformations/akashic-records-for-february-2011.

  2. nice, thanks for that link, Pam. I like this: “You are still alive here because you think it might be fun if you stick around.”

    That’s exactly how I feel.

  3. Pam, this is so thought-provoking. I do believe in reincarnation. So many little things that pop-up, those deja-vu moments. The picture you painted of those inmates is so sensitive. So many mysteries we deal with on a daily basis.

    • Thanks, Victoria. If learning and life weren’t so mysterious, this would be a very boring place. I pray that I live to see the time when all is forgiven and we, as a group, rise into higher ways of living. Take care, you amazing writer, you!

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