I was thinking last night: What makes me so certain of the things I write here, like ‘God is Love,’ and ‘All are loved,’ and ‘Forgiveness is second only to Love,’ and so on? How do I know if these are true? I don’t, really. All I know is, in a receptive state of mind, with a sincere need to know there is something more and something higher than me—higher than our human lives and problems—I arrive at the keyboard with my heart in a ‘ready’ state, and I type. And Love comes through my fingers. (At least, I think that’s what happens.)
I never lose self-awareness. I always know where I am and what I am doing at the keyboard, but it seems this writing is beyond what I personally know. Because I love God (Heavenly Father, Divine Mother, the Universe, Savior, Peacemaker, Love Within—by whatever name God is called) and I have been sick since 1997, I believe this writing is a gift to me, a way for me to feel I am helping in some small manner, of getting to be a stitch on the universal love-quilt, so to speak.
We, as individuals, however, should always arrive at our own ‘beliefs,’ and though having an open, compassionate mind is a very good thing and we may be touched by this or that article or book, or receive divine-love at church or in a forest, we have to form our own faith and operate from our own consciences. And faith-building takes a lifetime, much of it coming after the tests, the broken hearts and the losses.
I remember being 26 and becoming a Catholic. I was so happy because I could feel people praying in Catholic churches; I seemed to fit there. But I ended up having a great deal of difficulty with the pedophile-priests and the church transferring them from one parish to another. I also believe the abundance of the Catholic Church in Rome should not be hoarded; I believe it should be spent on giving a hand up to those whose needs are great, all around the world, with healing in mind and nothing asked in return.
So, I separated myself from the church. I love Jesus Christ, the God-man who came and taught us to be peacemakers (and we didn’t get it), but I do not accept or endorse the radical-right teachings of so many organizations now on display, nor can I in good conscience submit to the authority of a man in Rome who is human, just like the rest of us. I believe God loves all of us, from the pope to feminists, to gays, to immigrants, to pagans and to the sad, toothless, hungry, homeless men who live and die in alleyways.
Anyway, I guess I wanted to say that what I write here could be more for me than anyone else. If something I write doesn’t feel right to you, you know what to do; ignore it or let it go. Follow the path that feels right in your heart, that you know is Love, that answers your important meaning-of-life questions. At least we can agree—right?—that Love is the answer at the heart of every spiritual search. If we all get to the Love-place within, at least if we try to feel compassion, gratitude and forgiveness, our world will be okay.