The new power cord for my computer arrived yesterday. “Whoo-HOO!” I thought. Turns out the problem may not have been the cord at all—it could be the hole the plug goes into, because the new cord doesn’t fit snugly, either. Every time I shifted in my recliner with the laptop on my lap (if I don’t keep my legs up they ache, uncomfortably), the cord moved and I lost the power. (Since I don’t have the new battery yet, losing power is definitely a problem. :)) I was a bit discouraged, but I’ve duct-taped the plug into the computer and pray I won’t lose power so easily now.
I’ve been thinking. After my one-year blogging anniversary in June, I wondered if I’d still want to write every day. I was a bit worn out, I thought, by the daily-posting commitment and there are only so many things one person can write about, right? My writing about Love and peace and all of us moving together toward compassionate-living seemed repetitive even to me. I doubt there is one person with a computer who wants to read blog posts by the same writer every day. (I don’t subscribe to any daily blogs, either, because they’re too much to read!)
But, though I have posted a few things in the last two weeks, the further I got from June 14th, the further I got from a sense of purpose. My old feelings of uselessness were creeping back. These feelings, for any new readers, are because I don’t work or participate in life, due to illness, the way most people do. How could anyone who has a job write and post every day? And, it’s summer—people have things to do, except me and others living with incapacitating diseases. I sleep at an hour or two most days, but I could probably sleep more, or lie on the couch and watch TV—but having become a blogger, these non-activities leave me feeling sad. Reading is hard; my favorite pastime is not so fun anymore because of fluctuations in my vision that can’t be corrected by glasses.
So, I’m giving myself permission to show up at the keyboard every day I need to, without expectations about frequency of readership. I’m writing to add loving thoughts, as much as I am able, to the ‘airwaves.’ This writing is a mission-from-Love for and from me, and I hope the messages come through clearly for anyone who happens by, needing a Love-boost. No matter the events of the day, no matter the news, we need not live in fear, for we are Loved unconditionally by the Great Mystery of the universe, exactly the way we are, in this very moment. And every other moment, too.