I am closing in on the end of my one-year commitment to, hopefully, post something daily that is meaningful to fellow sojourners who stop by NAtP. I realized this morning that I have done my very best, and also that many of the posts have been for me–to see myself more clearly. In other words, I have been writing about what I need to do myself: transform fear, judging and criticizing into Love.
I have also learned that, yes, I am pretty aware of my own negative thoughts, but that some dark parts of me are deeply buried and I am still uneasy about looking at these things. I need to meditate more to identify and follow those threads to their source; then observe them, without fear, and let them go, as Sharie at Sending Joy teaches. Truly, Sharie’s spirit name must be Blessing Woman. One of the very best things about becoming a member of the blogging community is meeting remarkable, capable and caring people online.
When I was younger I wanted to ‘revisit’ my previous lives to better understand myself. I ordered astrology and numerology charts for that same reason, yet they contained very little that surprised me. Well, reading about the depth of my ‘psychic’ abilities did surprise me, because I have suppressed that aspect of my nature. I don’t want to know my future or anyone else’s future, period. I have gone for a couple of tarot card readings and the news was bad, at least as I measure things: illness, death of loved ones, confusion around men in my life, an unwillingness to be open and serve a higher purpose. Some things do manage to sneak into my dreams and they are always really helpful, so it doesn’t make sense to suppress that part of myself, does it? I once dreamed that I was a member of an Intergalactic Space Council (too much Star Trek?) and they finally decided they had to go on without me. I think I may have arrived at the last second, but I was definitely not jumping in with both feet.
I recently read online somewhere that not only do we each choose our parents before being born, we choose the circumstances of our lives specifically to stimulate our need to ‘know ourselves.’ I have believed this for many years, but it is empowering to realize that none of us are victims–we are souls planning before our physical births for the type of growth that brings us closer to the truth: We are not evil, or criminal or self-centered, even if we act in those ways. We are children of God and as such, we are love and joy and compassion. We are all on the same journey of self-discovery. Let us be kinder to each other, to acknowledge our souls within, and lend a hand or two along the way. This caring is high on the list of what we are meant to do.