I had intended to write about the success of arranged marriages vs. ‘falling in love’ this morning. I’d heard that arranged marriages lasted longer than marrying for love and we all know the divorce rate in the U.S. is above fifty percent (because we often mistake our desires for love). But as I looked around the Internet this morning, the general sense was that arranged marriages don’t typically come apart because the young woman is afraid to leave the marriage, even when she is being abused. Odds are, there will be reprisals from her own and her husband’s family, plus she will not likely be accepted into another marriage, thus undoing her financial security. Arranged marriages to increase wealth, land ownership and political power may or may not be happy—but happiness isn’t the point in those cases. It’s a matter of not marrying below your class.There are successful (happy or fulfilling) arranged marriages, which usually occur when both sets of parents have chosen the marriage partner after a good deal of investigation into the potential spouse’s nature—in other words, they are chosen for compatibility. Wouldn’t it be great if there was an infallible compatibility meter? (In my case, I ordered compatibility astro-charts, which I ignored. I was certain I could make things work. I learned some hard lessons this way.)
There is one infallible way to make important decisions in life, but most of us don’t want to do it. It is to leave everything in God’s hands. I know this seems impossible–believe me, I know—but the most amazing way to live is to put our trust in a Higher Power. This way of living is magical and full of surprises. We are blessed and have blessing capabilities. Life is one adventure after another and we’ll meet the most interesting people and make a positive difference in others’ lives. And we will find our soul-mate if marriage (or life-partnership) is our destiny and, in many cases, I believe we are meant to share our lives with another.
Trusting in a Higher Power is also related to our karma. According to the laws of the universe, what ‘goes around comes around,’ until we make the most important heart-connection of all, to God Within Us. This is the only way (I know of) to rise above troublesome karma and change our lives. We’ve all heard stories of people in prison who had an awakening when in prison and began to work on behalf of ‘goodness.’ But, it seems this ‘Trust-lesson’ is hard for most of us mule-headed humans. The irony is, when our lives goes wrong, we’re likely to shake our fist at the sky and blame God for the choices we’ve made. The lesson, perhaps the most important of all, is to surrender to your highest good.