The Truth of the Matter is . . .

I’m so happy to be here, even my well-used tea cup is happy. (I swear!)

Colleen in Cairns, Australia, who blogs at Reflections of Me, left me a caring and supportive comment this morning about my 3.7.10 post, The Blogging Journey.  I reread the post to see what had inspired her comment. Oh, it was the feeling I had one day to delete the entire blog. I would never actually do that, but in those moments of weakened faith (“How, Lord, can these things happen?!”), it was all I could do NOT to go to my Admin area and click on the delete box. Even though I don’t like that I felt this way, I said: “I’ll show YOU, God.” But I know that we humans mistreat each other all on our own, and that God does not create our problems, that He/She inspires us to solve our problems–but wow, some days we humans, who consider ourselves to be of the highest order on Earth’s evolutionary path, are actually more like animals.

I also wrote about the difficulty of daily posting, of staying centered enough to show up at the computer every day to write something meaningful, but the truth is, this blog is God’s gift to me. When people become too sick, too disabled to be a productive member of society over a long period of time, they lose heart. The 40+hour work week seems to grind away at us when working (I clearly remember thinking TGIF on many Fridays), and I’m not saying that being consumed by production is a good thing, but having a place to go to work every day, growing close to co-workers and sharing in each other’s lives, is deeply significant. You don’t know how important work is until you can no longer work. Just ask all the people who are unemployed now; it steals away some part of who we are and it is an important part.

When I was inspired to start this blog, it gave me a purpose again, helped me to chase the, “I’m worthless,” feelings away. The idea didn’t come in a blinding flash; I simply found myself at the computer, typing words into sentences and though I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, I really enjoyed it! Therefore, fellow bloggers (my co-workers) and fellow readers (my customers), I’m making this request: If I begin to complain about daily posting again (or anything else for that matter) before I arrive at my one year anniversary on June 14th, please leave me a comment that says, “STOP IT, YOU BIG WHINER!”

Thank you so much!


7 thoughts on “The Truth of the Matter is . . .

  1. Pam – I am not quite sure why you feel you have to do this EVERY day. In doing so you run the potential of losing your audience – especially in this day and age when we all get so much on the Internet. When I see one every day I tend to say to myself “Oh another one – when I get time.” I don’t think that’s what you want to hear – right?
    If I may suggest – share when the feeling to do so is truly there. Then – as with my atricles – I only write when I feel there is something of value to share. My Editor accepts that – and it works.

    So, is this truely “God’s gift to you” or is there also a needyness for you to feed yourself with the feeling to be doing somthing “worthwhile” – and perhaps just a slight bit of ego? Only you can truely descern one or the other – or both.

    Don’t publish this – this is just between us. It may be a bit hurtful – but I feel you are a dedicated person and doing what you feel is helpful for others and also gives you some meaningful way to express your dedication to Truth and the Light. This gives you purpose – and there is absolutly nothing wrong with that. Just look at it closely and if what I have written does not ring true with you – then so be it – I am wrong. I can accept that.
    Blessings and love, Michael.

    PS In essence what I guess I am trying to say without wanting to be too brutel – is, I feel a sense of “Needyness” and being useful in a world that is going to hell and wanting to make a difference. Get rid of the ‘needyness’ and it will manifest for you, of that I am absolutly sure. M.
    Michael Brine

    • 3.20.10
      Hi Michael, I did meditate and sleep on what you said and you are right, I was steering toward a standard superior/judgmental position, which is exactly what God doesn’t want us to do. The daily posting is very interesting; because of the frequency, it’s a journey that reflects who the writer is and who he/she is becoming. Maybe it’s more for me than anyone else. Thank you so much for correcting me; I need a wise friend and mentor who will be there for me and provide this insight.:)
      Also, it came to me that it’s not needyness as much as it is self-pity. My mom read my posts (in a binder) and was very upset because I had written about my childhood, and also said as far as she is concerned, I’m throwing myself a pity-party. Hah! I think we’re onto something here.
      Thanks again for being there for me.

      Wow, Michael, thank you for telling me what you really think. Not many people are willing to do so. I decided to publish your comment because it is a part of whatever this journey is and it’s important feedback. I have always been a needy person and I suppose that is also reflected in the blog writing. Though I hadn’t thought about it until now, how could it not be? Yes, I do want to make a positive difference in the world and I want to share about Love; and I’ve definitely had some bouts with my ego, some of which I’ve written about here. Who knows if I will ever be not-needy or ego-tamed?
      The most interesting part of your comment to me is that daily posting is simply too much to be reading. I also wish I had time to read my friends’ blogs daily but I don’t, and I know nobody reads my posts every day. What I’ve also come to feel is that today’s date is fresh and more interesting; when I click on links with old dates, I don’t search through those blogs because it feels like the writer is gone.
      I will meditate on your points, though. I don’t have something inspiring to say every day–sometimes it’s just me reacting to the news. There is my feeling that I made a promise to God to be here at the computer every day for a year and I’ll have to see how the idea of not keeping my promise settles in. You’re not the first person to say this to me, so I do need to think about it.
      Thank you, again, for your honesty and caring.

  2. Thanks for sharing your heart Pam..

    It hasn’t been a walk in the beach for me as well..


    Thank you so much! NO thank you!!

    • Well, Joe, now that you mention it, it hasn’t been easy for many of us in these last couple years. I’m gonna stop whining and I guess you are, too? Thanks for your comment. Pam B

  3. Bless your heart – and I truly mean that. It wasn’t an easy thing for me to send to you yesterday and you’ve handled it extremely well – especially by publishing it. We are all in this world togethjer, especially at this unique time – and when we stumble a little and can pocket our pride this says a great deal about us – you in this case, kidoo! Neat!

    As a spiritual being once said in my hearing “There is no such thing as a mistake – Only unrealised wisdom.” Love, Michael.

  4. Hi Pam, I’ve been reading through all your posts above this morning and was completely surprised to see your mention of me above. I read you exchange with Michael, and my comment to you would be ‘do what makes you tick’…for you and no-one else. I am hardly surprised that with all your wealth of passion for the Universe you feel compelled to feel like you are a productive contributor to positive growth and change for the world and its’ inhabitants. I don’t detect any need…only generosity of spirit to share yourself, with yourself and with others. I’m inspired by your determination to fulfil your commitment to yourself/God. In Peace and Love, your friend Colleen.

    • Colleen,
      I always wished I’d had a sister (three brothers) and if I could pick a sister, it would be you! Thank you for your loving heart and kind words. I am so happy to have met you! Love, Pam

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